DISCLAIMER: Since I’m first on deck, I’m letting y’all know that our blogs will be truly transparent. These are OUR stories and OUR journeys to where we are now. We’re NOT aiming anything at anyone. We think that our purpose is to talk about our storms that led us to our sunshine, especially if it will help others.

I often hear people tell us how “cute” Tiffany and I are. It is always appreciated hearing these praises, but honestly as I reflect, I would have never thought that I would be here with her. I had virtually met her in a Greek GroupMe chat that I randomly got added to. All of the people in the group would just be laughing and clowning around. She seemed like a really cool person and I admit that she caught my attention because some of the things that she said was more mature than others. We would have intelligent conversations and some people started mistaking it as “flirting,” which wasn’t the intention. Someone in the group put me on the spot and said that I should reach out to her if I was interested in her. I thought that it was only fair to be totally honest with Tiff. I sent her a private message (yes, a DM). I told her that I was separated, thus not looking for ANY relationships, just positive vibes only. She respected me for keeping it real with her.

Speaking of keeping it real and to be totally transparent with you all, at that time, I was broke, constantly flirting with being “in the red,” and trying to feed 4 mouths without the help of a suitable partner. Since I was the only one who had been working for the past 4 years, I was just looking forward to getting either a work bonus and/or my tax refund so that I could have the money to finally pay for the divorce (especially since she refused to do counseling to try to work it out after my pastor and I confronted her for infidelity). The divorce should have happened YEARS ago when the behaviors didn’t change but (a) I didn’t have the money for it and (b) I kept making excuses for her, enabling her just like her parents always did. I was tired of my “partner” just willfully watching me struggle, not trying to get a job to help the household as she promised, but yet had time to constantly continue to spend us further in debt and the nerve to entertain other men (hell nah!!!). My focus was on cutting that leech off. I had realized a while back that it wasn’t necessary to be with her to be a great father to my daughter and a mentor to my stepson. She served no purpose in my life, so she could be somebody else’s burden for all I cared. If y’all never listen to anything else that I say, being EQUALLY YOKED is sooooo important so please pray and be specific in your prayers. I took it lightly, and I attribute that to my youth. I knew the foundation was rocky and not firm, but my dumb self thought marriage would just change things for the better. The signs were there from God but I continued to ignore them because I thought I was doing good. LISTEN HERE, if your foundation isn’t solid and built on the right things, IT WILL NOT LAST!!! God definitely did not put us together. My family and friends had no idea of the struggle and hell that I had been through over the past 3 of the last 7 years. I smiled around them on the outside but I was depressed, embarrassed and BITTER AS HELL on the inside. I finally obtained the money and got divorced, although it was the hardest decision that I’ve ever had to make. I was a child of divorce so I never imagined that I would find myself in those shoes. I had to realize that my parents’ situation was different from mine, so I needed to stop being so hard on myself. I also knew that I had to focus on making myself a better person for me and just reclaiming my happiness. I didn’t have time for anything else but HEALING.

Writer: Mr. Robinson
Editor: Mrs. Robinson