After that relationship, I wanted to be single for a while lol. I needed time to get back on track because I had totally lost my damn mind. I beat myself up daily thinking, “why did I allow that kind of behavior? You know you were raised better than that!” After several years of rebuilding and reflection, I started dating and made a HUGE decision to not get intimate with another man other than my husband. I was tired of giving away my goods to men who eventually told me they weren’t ready for a serious relationship. It became exhausting and I was losing more of myself every time that they received a piece of me. I was hoping that they would respect my decision and appreciate my journey. At this moment, I began to even think about the possibility of being alone. I thought the Lord was trying to tell me something lol! I needed a detox and to focus on me. For once, I was ok with being single, if that was what God wanted. I wasn’t thinking about being in a relationship, and I paid attention to the signs.

When I wasn’t looking and least expected it, Chris came into my life. I originally even put him in the friend zone. He helped me a lot with dating tips about the guys that I was dating. I was just having conversations with these guys, nothing too serious because they made it known that they were not looking for relationships. Although I have done it before, I was serious this time about the vow that I made that the next man I would share my body with, would be my husband! I discussed this decision with the guys that I was talking to, and slowing, but surely, they started dropping like flies (SN: Chris had no idea that I was telling the guys this because we didn’t have that type of relationship yet). By holding out, I was able to see the red flags without a cloudy mind. After the guys made it clear that they weren’t going to wait on me, I was back at square one, alone lol.

Chris finally took the initiative and expressed how I deserved a nice date after what I’ve been through. It wasn’t going to be anything romantic, just two people needing to go on a date and have a good time without any strings attached. As I mentioned before, I had put Chris in the friend zone because he had things on my list that I said I didn’t want lol. “Being married before” and “having a child” were both things that I knew that I didn’t deserve. I hope you caught that “I”. I thought I had MY life planned out, and wasn’t going to bend on it. I mean, I was never married or didn’t have any kids, so why should I settle? That was my mindset before the date, so it was easy not to look at Chris as a guy I would date.

The day had come for us to have our dinner date. He walked in with a big smile and I returned the smile. He walked over to me, I got up and we hugged. We sat down and had dinner. It felt so natural and flowed very well. We laughed and talked and before we knew it, it was closing time. We were the only people in the restaurant. We didn’t want the night to end. We always laugh now as we reminisce about the date because we both weren’t looking for anything serious or more than a friendship, but we ended up falling in love shortly after. He eventually told me that he had spent his last on that dinner date. He wasn’t back on his feet yet, but he would do what he could. When we got together, I did a lot for him because I knew that he didn’t have it at that moment. I didn’t mind, remember I am a giver. I felt that his openness with me deserved it.

Since our first date, Chris and I have been inseparable. Our communication changed and we did the old fashion dating thing. We didn’t get into a relationship right away. This journey has worked for us and we are excited to see what each day will entail. Our foundation was based on transparency and the ugly truth. We both were in a place of brokenness and bitterness, and needed to finally be replanted. I tell everyone that I think “we” worked because we were not looking for anything serious, just someone to tackle life together.

Writer: Mrs. Robinson
Editor: Mr. Robinson