Author: meettherobinsons0608

“Life is like a camera… focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negative, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.” — Unknown

It has been a while since our last blog, but we’re back! These last couple of weeks have been a complete rollercoaster and had me questioning God’s favor. Last week, I was at about 10 weeks pregnant. Went to the doctor last Monday, and my OB said the baby was only measuring at 5 weeks. I started bleeding heavily on Wednesday, and on Friday night, I had excruciating pain. Chris had to rush me to the emergency room, where they informed us that we had a miscarriage. On 2/3/23, my worst nightmare happened. Chris and I lost our little blessing.

I am still processing this loss, but I know that there will be Sunshine at the end of this dark and rainy journey. I’ve gone back and forth about sharing this piece of my life because WE (Black women) never really want to talk about it, but in the midst of me sharing this information with a few of my village, I’ve learned that I’m not alone, and this too shall pass. I’m understanding now more than ever why it’s important to be careful when asking a woman when she will be having another baby, because you never know what state she is in, in that moment. Chris and I have shared so many great chapters in our lives, and we felt it was only right to be transparent about the bumps in the road.

Let me tell you how God works. Before this dark moment happened in my life, I was asked to be the Chairwoman for the Ladies Activities for the 59th Texas Council of Alpha Chapters (TCAC) District Conference. I was taken aback about this request and flattered to have this responsibility. Thank you Larry Moore (Chair of 59th TCAC) and Xi Kappa Lambda Chapter (Host Chapter) for seeing something in me, and entrusting that I would do what was needed to make sure the Alpha wives and sweethearts felt appreciated. I’m sitting here now in amazement thinking about the timing of everything. I needed this fellowship with these amazing women more than they knew, especially after what had just happened the week before with the miscarriage. It truly was in God’s timing. The Men of Alpha even honored me with an award for doing a great job.

Also, congratulations to my incomparable, classy, sophisticated Regional Director, Joya T. Hayes on being honored!! She exudes what an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman should be, and I’m so happy I was there to see her receive the yellow roses she deserves. Thank you for embracing me this weekend like you always do Madam Regional Director!

Thank you again men of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated for allowing me and your ladies to celebrate this amazing accomplishment with you. We don’t take lightly the work you are doing in your communities and nationally. Special shoutout to my honey-do, soulmate and best friend Chris for being by my side and assisting the ladies with anything that they needed! HE knew I was the perfect match for the task, and made sure everything went smoothly. I know I can speak for the wives and say we truly felt the love from our Alpha husbands all weekend. To my village, I love you dearly😘.

Writer: Mrs. Robinson
Editor: Mr. Robinson

“Bonus moms deserve the same respect a mother would receive. They pour all of their time, energy and love into a child they didn’t create. Bonus moms don’t do it because they have to. They do it because they want to.” — Unknown

We’re 1 day away from Chris and I’s 2nd Wedding Anniversary. I wanted to share the precious moment when Crystal, my Bonus daughter, said yes to her dress. Chris and I thought it would be a great idea for Crystal to have a day with all of the attention on her. We wanted to do this because she was so sad that she couldn’t stay at my bridal shower because it was for adults only. She was so excited to see her friends Heather, Kate, Breanna, Sami & Willisa, that she wasn’t ready to leave. Throughout the planning process of our wedding, Chris made sure that Crystal understood that our wedding day was about her as well. We made sure she had key moments such as being my miniature bride, as well as her having a dance with her daddy.

Before this magical moment could even happen, she had to say yes to her dress🤗. At the suggestion of my coworker Ashlee, I planned a day just for us girls, full of surprises. We started at David’s Bridal, where she tried on several dresses until we found the one. I could tell she was so uncomfortable trying on these dresses, so I tried to make it as much fun as possible. It was sweet that other mothers were chiming in letting her know that she looked so pretty in her dresses. She eventually got more comfortable and started twirling around like a princess. We eventually found THE ONE and she was able to “ring the bell.” It was perfect and blush like my wedding dress. My favorite part of her dress was the heart shape in the back.

We left the bridal shop and headed to her scheduled mani and pedi. She was so excited and explained that this was her first mani/pedi. I could tell she was enjoying being a girly girl and for once being seen and heard. She chose a bumble gum pink to match the dress she was wearing. Next, it was time to get some grub. We stopped at a cute pizza place and enjoyed a pepperoni pizza, her favorite. The whole time at lunch, she kept telling me “thank you for spending the day with me and making me feel pretty.” She began to cry and told me she loved me. Crystal is such an emotional child, and she doesn’t mind letting you know how she is feeling, after asking lol. I’ve always made an effort to let her know how I felt about her, regardless of what her mother may have been telling her.

Our day was almost over but I couldn’t dare end it without taking her to her favorite place, Urban Air Trampoline Park. Before heading that way, we stopped at Target to get her a new outfit for the trampoline park. I began driving to the park and she screams, “we’re going to the trampoline place.” Her little innocent face lit up like I was Santa Claus😂. It felt so good making her smile and giving her a reminder that she matters. The most important lesson, that I wanted her to learn, was just because your daddy is marrying someone else, you’re not getting replaced. In so many second or third marriages, the kids are left out and not even thought of. To them, it’s all about the bride and groom. However, it’s imperative that you include the children in your union.

Fast forward, Crystal had no clue that her dad added the father/daugther dance to the program. The dance was so cute and meaningful. They danced to “Love Is an Open Door” (from Frozen) by Kristen Bell. Crystal and I have a bond that has been through so much, but I’m happy to share that it is still thriving. No weapon formed against us will prosper😃.Writer: Mrs. Robinson
Editor: Mr. Robinson

“I embrace now—this moment—with my whole” — Amy Leigh Mercree

Around this time two years ago, my Squad Dolls and I were excited to explore the beautiful Caribbean island country of the Dominican Republic. Looking at what’s going on now, I’m so glad that we were able to go without the fear of being drugged or the trip canceled because of the pandemic. It’s amazing how the environment can change so quickly! A month or so before leaving for DR, I asked my Bonus Daughter (a neutral person) to pull names out of a hat while I was on one of the conference calls with my Bridesmaids. The name pull would determine room assignments. From the very beginning, I wanted my Bridesmaids to get to know each other for themselves since they would be spending a lot of time together. I think my plan worked and the ladies each appreciated learning more about their roomie. I love getting people out of their comfort zones 😂. Now let’s dig into what my bachelorette week looked like. We arrived in style with our matching T-shirts, which were designed by Bre. She truly made my vision come to life! Her idea to wear the shirts with some comfy pants were right on time for our early flight! Kate, our personal planner, put together a great week of dinners, excursions, a pajama party and more. She really did a great job with our agenda, checking in with our exclusive hotel and the time schedule for our excursions. Did I mentioned that Kate also planned our conference calls and agenda months in advance before our trip?!?! We were so lucky to have a planner like Kate in our Squad. We arrived at our beautiful resort and immediately went to the pool after finding our rooms and decompressing. We couldn’t wait to get to out to the swim up bar to toast to a great week to come in DR.

[Day 1] was our relaxation day in the pool because of our early flight that morning. We quickly learned that Mamajuana was the popular drink of the island. They said it made the man go all night long 😳. We had several cups of Mamajuana while basking in the sun. It was the perfect start to our getaway.

[Day 2] entailed a buggy ride to visit the most beautiful ecological reserve in the Caribbean, Ojos Indígenas, where you could swim in the lagoon’s crystal-clear waters. The ladies were brave enough to swim in the lagoon and I stayed on the stairs sparing my life for my Groom lol. The site-seeing was amazing. Then, we headed to Playa Blanca to visit a spectacular beach.

[Day 3] began at the pool after having an amazing breakfast. I think this was the first time that I’d been at an all exclusive resort and I was in love. The fruit in DR was so fresh and you had so many options for breakfast. I loved eating and fellowshipping with these ladies because we were able to talk about so much and learn more about each other. Most of us were able to relax and be vulnerable when it was needed most. That’s what sisterhood should be all about. If you don’t have that, you don’t have a true friendship/relationship. It’s also ok to let go of those friendships that aren’t mutually beneficial. Ok, enough of me getting deep lol. We quickly became the life and party of the pool because we brought our own music and a good time along with us. The bartenders and servers remembered our names 😂. We were in heaven and happy to be soaking in more Vitamin D. There was no other place we would rather be.

After much needed relaxation at the pool, we went back to our rooms and got glammed up for dinner at El Rodizzio, Brazilian Cuisine. I asked the ladies to wear something black, causal or elegant (colors and dress codes were sent out months in advance for shopping purposes). Dinner was so good and the wine was the perfect blend with our food. After dinner, the ladies got comfy in their pajamas and came to Kate and I’s room for Game Night. Heather led the charge with decorating the room. Her vision when it comes to decor has always been amazing. Whenever we buy a house, she’s gonna be one of my interior designers lol. Willisa was tasked with the games for pajama Game Night. She had secretly reached out to Chris (my then fiancé) to ask questions about him. Let’s just say most of my answers were WRONG (smh), but I gave it an honest effort. I learned so many little details about his past that night as well. Game Night hands down was a BLAST and the free bottle of champagne from the lady at the front desk made my night. After the games, I had a little gift for them. I gave my dolls their own personalized swimsuits (that read #SquadDolls) and a pair of cute flip flops to complete the fit for our Day 5 adventure coming up. This time away from the worries of the world was so needed.

[Day 4] was SPA and pool day. I was skeptical at first about getting a massage there since it wasn’t my “got to place,” but glad I just went with the flow. I still remember how amazing the massage felt and how much my body needed it. They really took their time and focused on every inch of my body. I’m so glad that we penciled in some time for a little self care.

[Day 5] went down in the Squad Dolls history book. So many things about that day went so wrong but we still handled it with grace and had a BALL. I’m sure my Dolls are already giggling thinking about this day. This day started with our ritual breakfast, featuring venting and fellowship. We wanted to make sure we indulged in eating what we could, because we would need it to absorb all of the libations that were about to be consumed 🤣. Day 5 was the Sailing Cruises Happy Hour! The festivities started that afternoon by sailing to the colorful coral reef where we got to snorkel with hundreds of tropical fish. Of course, we had an abundant amount of Mamajuana to get our hips moving so that we would be ready to dance Merengue and Bachata. The only wrong thing that I will reveal about this day was the down pouring of rain. As soon as we were enjoying the music and happy drinks, the sky began to open up and cry on us heavy. We were soaked with nowhere to run for proper cover because we were on a small sailing bait. We all just looked at each other and began to laugh until tears began to fall. We ended the day relaxing at a floating bar. A moment that could have ruined our happy hour, made it memorable and laughable for years to comes. We’re finally to the last day before departure.

[Day 6] was a beach/pool day with our final dinner. We needed a day to unwind and exhale from the fun filled week. The final dinner was a little emotional because the reality hit that I was going to be a wife very soon. I couldn’t think of a better way for the Future Mrs. R to celebrate her last single days. The ladies were told to wear something blush, casual and elegant. We enjoyed our intimate dinner paired with the perfect beverage of choice. We toasted to my marriage and that we hoped it would be filled with happiness, blessings, love, peace and never-ending joy. I will never forget our time together and the bond that we made in DR. We vowed to continue taking trips together and making memories. I look forward to our next grand escape. I frequently look at pictures and think about the memories. Thank you Sami for capturing so many breathtaking moments during our stay. She literally has a degree in photography, so I knew she’d do a perfect job just like she did. Thank you to all of my Squad Dolls for making my bachelorette trip one for the books.

Writer: Mrs. Robinson
Editor: Mr. Robinson

“All things happen in their proper time. Everything in life happens in the time allocated for it. Don’t waste energy worrying about end results. Worrying only distracts you from living day to day and enjoying life!” — James Van Praagh

Today makes exactly one year since I had one of the toughest days of my life. Picture this and take a journey with me. My wife is pregnant and this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. Imagine going to work like any other normal day. As you’re getting ready to leave in the next hour or so at the end of the day, you get blindsided with the news that you’re being laid off. WTH?!?! All I could think about was that my expenses are about to increase with this baby on the way but my revenue just drastically decreased! On the drive home, I thought about them at least having the decency to let me finish out the day and not draw any attention. I kept questioning why this was happening. I had been the most active in church that I had EVER been in life. I was going to church every Sunday, going to Marriage Class, going to Mass Bible Study, singing in the Young Adult Choir, listening to Dr. Tony Evans on the radio every morning and praying daily. I’m doing everything that I thought I was supposed to do as a Christian. Why am I losing my main source of income now with no way to provide for my family and this new baby that was on the way?

Then I started thinking about having the conversation with my wife when she got home. I just knew she would be sad and start stressing even more about the pregnancy. Her blood pressure had already been an issue, both before and during the pregnancy. I definitely didn’t want to cause her any additional worry. Surprisingly, she had a calm spirit and was like “we’ll be just fine.” It’s funny how our roles reversed. She was normally the worrier and I was the calm one. However now, she constantly kept me with a cooler head during the entire unemployment process while I couldn’t do anything but worry. In hindsight, I can see that she was right to remain calm. God works in mysterious ways. I was able to attend EVERY single doctor’s appointment. I was able to do things around the house to prepare for the baby when my wife was nesting. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t the bread winner in my household, and it bothered me. I will admit that I may have not been the best supporting husband that I needed to be for my pregnant wife, because I was so worried about my income. She was so excited about wanting to do so much before the baby would arrive, and all I could think about is how are we going to survive?! The situation forced me to get out of my comfort zone. I had only ever worked for two companies, so it was going to be a new beginning. Those six months of unemployment gave me some time to do some self evaluation, confirm my market value and figure out what I’d like my next career steps to be. It also gave me some time to try to rest and prepare for the baby.

The time has now come for Deuce to be born. He was happy and healthy. Mom was doing fine as well. As I’m sitting in the hospital, I get a call for a phone interview for a contract position. I could tell the phone interview went well. A few days go by and we’re now home from the hospital. I get another call to come in for an in person interview. The on-site interview went well. I found out that I’d be filling in for a lady that was getting ready to go on maternity leave (the irony). I did end up getting the contract position. Immediately it was a good fit with the supervisor and group and I’d have employment at least through the holidays. Even after my coworker came back from maternity leave, I’m still here. My contact got extended. This whole experience has taught me not to worry and just focus on one day at a time, which is hard because I’m a planner. I just have to trust the fact that God will provide. I’m so grateful for my wife and her support. I couldn’t imagine not being in the same household with her and having to go through the tough times alone. I truly believe that our conscious effort and obedience to His word has gotten us this far. We didn’t miss a beat! The future is still a little uncertain because I have no control over it and that’s ok. I just have to remind myself that life comes at you fast and you just have to navigate through each moment, not worrying about anything else.

Writer: Mr. Robinson
Editor: Mrs. Robinson

“A wedding dress is both intimate and personal for a woman — it must reflect the personality and style of the bride.” — Carolina Herrera

On Saturday, September 30th, I went dress shopping with my mother, wedding planner, and Matron of Honor, Heather. My sweet MOH flew in to Houston from Dallas just for this special moment, then immediately flew back to Dallas. She made cute signs with different phrases just for the occasion, and we had a glass of mimosa right before we started our day of dress shopping. She also gifted me with a personalized wedding date hanger, with my new last name, for my new dress. This was one of the most exciting and interesting days of my life. It was interesting because I didn’t know if I would find my dream dress that day. I had worked really hard on having my waist snatched for the fitting. I knew what style that I wanted but I had no clue what the dress would look like. Of course like most women, I looked online at a lot of dresses making a mental note about my likes and dislikes. I knew that I didn’t want a ball gown dress or a white dress. My personality and body shape just wouldn’t do a ball gown design any justice, and white just wasn’t for this non virgin woman. I guess I was a little non-traditional with that expectation.

My planner had made two appointments for me in the hopes that I would say “Yes to the Dress” at one of them. We arrived at the first location not knowing what to expect from this cute boutique. We sat patiently filling out a questionnaire while waiting for our turn to be serviced. After a brief waiting period, it was my turn to pick my dream wedding dress. We began walking around the store browsing, looking for what we believed would be the one. Now remember, this was only the first stop. I had another appointment later at another dress shop. Ok, now back to the search. My planner and I had selected about 10 dresses!!! I was truly overwhelmed and all kinds of emotions started to take over me. As I began to try them on, I would come out and let my circle be the judge. Of course I would make the final decision, but having them there to give input was helpful. Majority of the dresses that I tried on were mermaid style with a sweetheart neckline and a few were ballgowns with a sweetheart neckline. I was down to 3 dresses, but one really caught my eye. It was really different and something I wouldn’t have chosen just by looking at it.(lace ivory mermaid style dress at 1st location)

(white mermaid style dress at 1st location)

(blush dress at 1st location)

I walked out of the dressing room, and Heather’s eyes gazed at me and began to fill up with tears. If you know Heather, you know she’s not an emotional person, so when she cried I knew this was it. I turned around to look in the mirror and I was in love! I hadn’t seen that style and color on anyone, and that was a plus for me. At first glance, I didn’t know the dress color was blush. You really have to be in a certain lighting to see it. I knew it was a mermaid style dress, but had no clue it was BLUSH. The blush color looked AMAZING against my caramel skin. Even without the alterations, it looked perfect on me. I said over and over again, OMG this is the dress! This is it! It fit the theme and color scheme of the wedding. Our color scheme was Rose Gold and Blush. Who knew that I would fall in love with a blush dress?!?! Although I knew this was the dress, I still wanted to honor my appointment at the second location. I went there but honestly wasn’t moved by any of the dresses except two. One had a fitting top with a ballgown bottom. It fit me really well and I felt like a bride, but it just wasn’t the dress for my special day. I almost found the exact same dress at the second stop, that I loved at the first stop, but it was designed a little differently and it was in another color, WHITE! That was automatic no for me!

My mother had another vision for my special day, and WHITE was it. She wanted me to get the dress in white at the second location. We didn’t connect on that at all, it caused a little tension for the rest of the day, and my spirit shifted a little bit. I wanted to make my mom happy since her and my dad were paying for the dress, but on the other hand I wanted to be true to who I was. I totally get it, she always dreamed of her daughter wearing a traditional white dress, but that was just it, we had very little traditions in our wedding. I went back to the dressing room at the second location, a little flustered not knowing what to do. I think my planner and MOH saw the look on my face and immediately joined me in the dressing room. They both saw how my face glowed when I tried on the blush dress at the first location, they reminded me that it was me and Chris’ day, and told me that I should go with the dress that I felt was more me. They assured me that whatever decision I made, they would back it 100%. I thought it over and came out with my mind made up. I wanted the blush dress at La Reve Bridal Couture (the first location). That was my final answer! I thanked the ladies for their time and patience at the second location, and gathered my things so that we could go back to the first location.

(white ballgown dress at 2nd location)

I walked in at the first location, the sales representative recognized me from earlier and she got the dress for me to try on again. THIS WAS THE DRESS!! My mom saw my eyes glistening, smiled and eventually agreed that this was the dress for me. I was happy to have her blessing but I was going to get it anyway lol. On Saturday, September 30th, I said yes to the dress. The dress was perfect but needed something more. I’m not a long lace veil girl, so I wanted to go with a birdcage veil. I tried the birdcage veil with the dress, and it was magical. It fit the theme of my wedding and my wedding dress perfectly. My day had been made, and it only took me going to two locations. The icing on the cake is when I heard that La Reve Bridal Couture was a black owned establishment. Supporting black businesses was high on Chris and I’s list. The owner was actually there that day and really sweet! Thank you La Reve Bridal Couture for your amazing customer service, and making me feel like a Queen. Thank you to my parents for buying my wedding dress!

To catch everyone up on what I had checked off so far in wedding planning, here is a short list. Please refer to my last blog to learn what I did before leaving Dallas. So in August, I got to book the make-up artist of my dreams, Color Du Jour. In September, I found my dress, and had already told the ladies what days we would be going on my bachelorette trip in May, so that they could go to their jobs to request those days off. I made sure to tell them way in advance (8 months before trip) because I knew how costly the trip would be. I guess you can say when I moved to Houston in July, I continued hitting the ground running with wedding planning. If I could give present and future brides some tips about wedding dress shopping, my first would be go in with an open mind. Although I had been browsing at dresses, I knew the dress would look different on my body! Go with your gut and with the one that makes you feel like royalty for your special day. Yes, your wedding is just one day, but your pictures will last a lifetime and will make great memories. Also, if you’re unsure and want to think about it for a couple days, do just that. I was just lucky to find my dress in that one day. Don’t feel pressured into buying a dress because you want to make others happy. Another HUGE tip, please don’t get your dress altered two sizes too small or too big. No I didn’t do that, but I heard it’s common especially when you’re a bride who works out. Yes, I was working out, but I had realistic expectations for my body. All in all, my final decision was made when I closed my eyes and imagined myself walking down the aisle in that blush dress. That thought immediately made my stomach have endless butterflies. I knew that dress would have my groom smiling from ear to ear, hypnotized by how I was looking in it, and how it highlighted one of his favorite parts of my body. In the end, I was completely satisfied with my dress selection, and I don’t have any problems referring brides to La Reve Bridal Couture.

Writer: Mrs. Robinson
Editor: Mr. Robinson